Friday, February 17, 2006


Drunk's Oldest Trick in the Book

The oldest trick in the book, for a person to hide their level of intoxication at an event, is to go fix a cocktail immediately afterwards. That way the person can always claim that "well, I'm drunk now but that's from what I drank afterwards." My clients have claimed this to me and I've heard of people avoiding DUI's with the same trick: Crash car, walk to 7-11 and get six pack.
Strange that Cheney claimed to delay notifying the press because of "concern" for the shootee but was seen drinking a cocktail at dinner by the crony/host. Just as the "beer at lunch" comment was a set up to diffuse the inevitable information regarding drinking that would eventually come out anyway, perhaps the "cocktail afterwards" was a trick to deflect any tests the sheriff might have had in mind. Fortunately for Dick, the sheriff was "one of the old boys" and let the penguin hide behind the security detail until he could sober up.
Has anyone else noticed the irony of claiming the delay was for the victim, but his response was to go eat dinner and fix a stiff drink? I'm just glad the next time the prosecutor trashes my client for having 2 dui convictions or for drinking after an accident, I can reply that this is just the example of the vice president trickling down to the streets.

Alberto the Spy

Here's a link to an animated cartoon imagining Alberto the Spy advertising like a personal injury attorney might. Of course most people laugh at the personal injury attorney (a.k.a. ambulance chasers) for ads like these, but, let's face it, while corporate attorneys like Harry Whittington are drumming up business by drinking beer and shooting pen-raised birds on crony-owned private game reserves, the lawyers for the poor guys have to find their clients somehow. Sometimes ads like this, which admittedly often go over the top, are the only way to reach the poor people who have legal rights and claims but often don't know how to exercise them. Speaking of this, here's what happens when a hispanic man accidentally shoots and kills another man in a hunting accident in Texas: Manslaughter charge. When you're the Veep, though, the sheriffs get turned away by the security detail and the alcohol dissipates by the time they come back the next morning. If Whittington expires, however, doesn't the equal protection clause demand that the law that charges this poor man also applies to the "five deferment" war profiteer? I know the fourth amendment doesn't mean much to Dick and Alberto. I guess the demise of the equal protection clause isn't too far away by this logic. As I said before, Cheney believes in Liberty and Justice for all, and all pigs are equal on his animal farm. Some pigs, and Dicks, are just more equal than others.

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